All Again for You
by ImaginaryPoet
Summary: Arizona reveals the reasons for her sudden change of heart.
1. Chapter 1

Title: All Again for You

Author: XxSoNfanxX

Rating: T, with Calzona (Callie and Arizona) pairing

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A note from the author: Hey everyone, how's it going? Well, I'm surprised that I'm writing this because I had decided long ago that writing really wasn't for me. I guess that since the last time I've written, I've matured a lot and (possibly) have improved my writing skills. I didn't think I'd have a reason to write again, but my subconscious has decided that Calzona needs me. Consider this me giving it another shot.

Reviews: Please!

...

ARIZONA POV

I don't really know how it happened. I'm not sure when the line between stubbornness and ignorance was blurred, or when it was crossed. Likewise, I can't remember my reasons for holding on so tightly when I knew that I only half believed in my argument all along. Maybe I'm a hypocrite. Maybe my reason for holding on to my stupid beliefs for so long was so I could see if she was willing to catch me when I let go.

I didn't wake up that morning expecting my life to change. I don't think anyone really ever does. When these things happen, they generally catch everyone by surprise. I kept to my newfound morning routine: hitting the snooze button as many times as I needed to before I could force myself up, standing under the shower so long that I barely noticed the water change from hot to cold, making and drinking enough coffee to allow myself to make it out of the house in one piece, and most importantly, making sure that once I was at work, no one could tell how horrible it felt to be there.

That particular morning was especially rough. The night before, I had done something incredibly stupid. I slipped up. I told myself I was done with her, but when I saw her alone in the elevator, when I heard her whisper my name, I caved. Kissing her again was amazing. I had never felt as wonderful. Still, I knew it was wrong. I wanted it to go on forever. I wanted to take her home and beg her to forget that we had broken up but I couldn't. Not when she still wanted her future and I still wanted mine. I heard the elevator warn that we had reached the next floor and I left. I couldn't stand to be there any longer, she didn't deserve to be hurt any more.

I spent the entire drive home cursing at myself. I ate a less than tasty frozen meal (I was never a great cook) and was about to go to sleep early when my phone rang.

I smiled as I saw the caller ID and answered, "Daddy?"


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Sorry for the length (or lack thereof) of the first chapter. I forgot that one page on a word processor is really not much once uploaded. I wanted to make the story short, so hopefully in a week or two it should all be wrapped up! Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed and added the story to story alert!

...

"Arizona, honey, your mother and I were beginning to worry, we haven't spoken in days!"

Arizona chuckled into the receiver and heard him do the same.

"Daddy, we spoke yesterday," she smiled.

They had played this game for as long as she could remember. One of her parents would call, tease her about not calling first, and then they would chat.

"How are you doing? Are you still fighting with Callie?"

She sighed. She had told her parents all about her amazing orthopedic surgeon and how she was sure that this time, she had found the one. That was until she learned that the one thing Callie wanted most.

"We're not fighting Dad, we're broken up, and I'm fine."

"You are not fine, you don't sound fine. I don't blame you, if your mother and I were fighting I'd be upset too."

"Ok, I'm not exactly fine. I slipped up tonight but it won't happen again. Now, for the last time, we aren't fighting. We decided to end our relationship. There was no fighting, in fact, just a mature and mutual decision."

"Arizona," it was her mother, "what happened tonight?"

She sighed again, "I kissed her, in the elevator."

"So then you're done fighting?"

"Daniel, why don't you let Arizona and I talk alone for a while?"

"Bye Daddy," she really did get a kick out of her father. She found it quite funny that after all of his years in the military, he was still enough of a softie that he wanted to talk relationships with his daughter.

"So honey, what did she do when you kissed her?"

"I don't know, nothing? I sort of got out of there as quickly as I could."

"Before you left, she didn't do anything? She didn't kiss you back?"

"Maybe, I don't know."

Now she was thoroughly confused. 'Did I kiss Callie or did we kiss each other?'

"Well, I think that she did. You are Arizona Robbins and you are awesome, so she could not resist."

Arizona spit out a bit of coffee at her mother's words. 'Am I really hearing this?'

"Mom," she said between laughs, "seriously?"

"Seriously. I think that you two have something very special. You never mentioned anyone as often or with as much joy as you have Callie. Especially not that Joanne."

"Mom!"

"I'm just saying, you know that she is more special to you than anyone before her."

"That's just it. She means the world to me. I'd give up everything for her, but I don't think that she could do the same for me. I don't want that. I can't build a life and a family with someone who can't be there for me when it's important. I can't..."

She couldn't finish her sentence. Tears were now rolling down her cheeks as the truth came out.

"Honey, where is all of this coming from?"

"When bad things happen, you and Dad are there for each other. You make it through."

"Is this about your brother?" Arizona didn't answer, "It's ok to talk about him, Arizona."

"It's not...it's not just him."

"Is it your job?"

"No, it's both. I see sick kids everyday. Some live and others don't, that's life, that's medicine. When bad things happen, some parents can't deal. Some of them can't be there for each other. Even when kids grow up, they're still their parent's kids. If my baby grew up and wanted to be like his grandpa and his uncle, I would be the proudest mother in the world. I would support that decision and let everyone know how proud I was. But... If something happened to him, I would die. I would need someone to die with me. I can't do it alone."

...

Hopefully that was long enough for most of you. Review if you'd like and I'll try to get the next chapter up soon!


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: This is it! Thanks to everyone for reading. It was fun to get back into writing. I might write another story or two if I get enough interest or time. I'm starting college in 2 weeks, so I think I'll stick to reading fics for a while.

...

I let out a deep sigh, one I had undoubtedly held in for too long. It was like the words I had just spoken. They had been in me for far too long. Letting them out made my chest feel lighter. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could breathe. Why couldn't I just say them to the one who needed to hear them, the one who needed to know?

There it was. I had admitted it. I did want children. I wanted them more than even I could know. What I didn't want, the reason why I had told everyone I had dated since college the opposite, was because I didn't want to do it alone. I didn't want kids with someone who would eventually find someone or something else. I wanted a family with someone who would always want our family.

"Arizona," I heard the voice of one of the only people in the world who knew this part of me, the real me; this vulnerable, scared, and confused person I wouldn't let myself be on the outside.

"I'm sorry, Mom, I didn't know that would happen."

"It's ok. It's ok to feel. Most things are those that we don't see coming. It doesn't matter if you're blindsided or not. What matters is how you deal with the situation. Losing a child was the worst thing we've ever experienced. Yes, it was hard, but we were able to get through it. Most days, I couldn't get out of bed, but you know your father, 'Mr. Good Man in a Storm'. He told me to get up and live my life, not remembering the pain of the son I lost, but the happiness he brought while he was still alive. He made us all so happy. The more he and I talked about him and laughed about all of the things he had done, the easier it was to replace pain with laughter. I'll miss him everyday, but it won't keep me from living my life. It won't stop me from loving your father and the rest of you kids, and being there when you need me. It won't keep me from being a good man in a storm. Sure, somedays I do want to stay in bed all day and cry, but that's not what he would have wanted. That's not what any of us should want for ourselves. If you don't tell her your reasons, you'll regret it later. If you let your life slip by just because you're afraid to live it, you're going to wish you had done things differently later. You might find that she's a better man in a storm than you thought."

I knew that she was right. She was always right.

"Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. Share my love."

...

By the time I arrived at work, the day was looking better already. I decided that after my shift, I would find her. I would take her to an on call room or lounge and talk to her. Maybe we wouldn't be fixed, but we would be better. I did rounds as normal and checked on patients. Nothing out of the usual happened. It wasn't until Alex Karev walked up to me at the nurses' station that I even had to do anything.

"Dr. Robbins, there's a boy with a broken leg in curtain 2."

"So call Ortho," I said.

"I would but...he peed all over the place. He got me."

His disgusted face was enough to make me smirk. This was better than a brick.

"Clean it up and call Ortho," I said, walking away.

...

I checked up on a few patients and started charting when Lexie Grey told me that a girl had what appeared to be appendicitis. After deciding that she needed surgery, I headed back to the nurses' station. As I turned my head, I saw her. She was standing there, probably waiting for Karev to tell her about the broken leg. I put on my biggest smile and walked over as casually as possible.

"Hey," I said cheerily. She looked at me like I just farted and left. I looked at Karev, whose face shared my confusion.

"Dude, don't feel bad. At least she didn't leave you with $200,000 worth of medical bills and divorce papers. Chicks really suck."

"Thanks Alex," I said. This day was going to be longer than I imagined.

...

I was back in Peds doing paperwork at the nurses' station when I heard the door open. When I saw her, I stared for a moment before getting back to my task. That's when they said we were on lockdown. I didn't know why and I didn't care. The kids' safety was always first. I sealed the floor. Callie was less than excited. I didn't have time for her attitude, I had patients to take care of.

...

The rest of the morning was miserable. I was on the floor with a handful of nurses, Callie, Steve, and Graciella, not nearly enough people to take care of everything necessary. Callie suggested we move the kids to the play room, an idea I happily accepted. While transporting kids, I decided I had had enough of her and whatever her problem happened to be. I couldn't believe my ears when she said that she was going to treat me badly to make herself feel better. That was so un-Calliope that it made me ask myself who this stranger in front of me was. We argued. I told her that I hadn't deserved her anger and she argued that I didn't care about her. That hurt more than she could have imagined. I got so mad at her that I couldn't censor myself and I told her everything that I had wanted to say before, only in the exact opposite way that I had planned. I don't know what would have happened had we kept going, but Ruby, the appendix girl, needed our help right away.

...

We couldn't get the anesthetic that we needed for the surgery, so I did my best to numb the area as much as possible given our limited supply. I couldn't help but smile as Callie comforted Ruby. She would make a wonderful mother, I didn't question it. I just wished I knew that she could be an equally good partner.

When her eyes filled with fear, I turned and saw an image that haunts me still. Gary Clark was standing in the doorway, holding a gun, muttering something about being shot. Something came over me immediately. A fear that I have never known and an instinct to protect the girl in front of me.

I heard her speaking to him, but I couldn't process the words. I had to protect Ruby. I had to be a good man in a storm. I didn't know I was crying, fear filling my body with each second. Fear for my life and the life of the child in front of me, and fear for Callie, who had placed herself between the shooter and myself. I knew what was happening. I knew that she knew, too. If he was going to kill someone in the room, it was going to be her. She was choosing my life over hers.

I shook until I heard her slam the door shut. At that moment, Ruby and I both began to freak out. As if nothing had happened, Callie comforted Ruby, telling her that everything would be fine. She said that Ruby shouldn't worry because she was with the best doctor in the world. I mentally scoffed at her for being so arrogant, especially at a time like that. I was so surprised when she told Ruby that the doctor she was referring to, happened to be me.

She spoke about my smile, calling it super-magic. If it wasn't clear already, it was absolute now. Calliope Torres loved me. Not the fake me, the one that skates around the hospital and cheers up sick kids, but the me that was crying, terrified of what was happening, unsure of what to do next. She told Ruby I was smiling at her and I agreed, even though I wasn't ready to fake one. She put her hand on my face and wiped my falling tears.

"I'm good," I said. I wasn't, but I knew that someday, I would be.

...

It was another hour or so when the police rushed in and told us that we were able to leave. We walked Ruby to the ambulance waiting for her and said goodbye. When the doors closed, it was only Callie and me. I was so embarrassed of what I had said earlier to say anything. She was willing to give her life for mine, only minutes after I told her that I didn't trust her and I didn't think that her love was real. I said the first thing I could think of.

"I'm gonna see if any of the kids need help finding their parents."

I told myself I would talk to her later. I would tell her I was wrong, I was sorry, I was so in love it hurt.

"People died," she said, "I don't want kids if it means I can't be with you."

I had underestimated her in every way.

"No, no. We'll have kids. We'll have all kinds of kids," I saw her face light up. I knew what I was saying was what I should have been saying all along. I told her that I wasn't sure that I'd make a good mother, but she'd be good enough for the both of us. I really believed it.

"I love you so much and I can't live without you and our 10 kids."

I meant every word of what I said. She kissed me with every ounce of passion possible and I knew that there was no other way.

...

After speaking to the police and the Chief, we went to Callie's and sat on the sofa, staring at each other. She smiled at me and I eased up.

"You really want ten kids? You don't think maybe that's a few too many?"

She smiled and I knew that we were going to be ok.

"So maybe ten is a bit more than we can handle."

"I thought one was too much for you," she said.

"You don't understand everything about me and that is my fault. Believe me when I tell you, I want you. I want everything that has to do with you. I didn't know it before, but I do now. Kids or no kids, you're it for me. We could have ten kids, and as long as you're right there next to me, I'm all for it."

"I'll be right there every time," she said.

I believed her wholeheartedly.

...

We sat there for hours, just holding each other, missing the way it felt to be together. We decided to turn on the news and try to find out new information on the shooter and the victims. Every channel had the same coverage:

"A shooting claims the life of several at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital," the reporter said. Within a minute, both of our phones rang.

"We forgot to call our parents!"

"Oh boy," I said, realizing the horror our families must both be going through.

"Hola Mama," she said into the phone as she walked to the kitchen, giving me privacy.

"Mom," I spoke, "I'm so sorry I forgot to call you as soon as I could. I had so much on my mind and I was with Calliope and-"

"You're alright?" my dad asked.

"Yes, I am more than fine."

"You were with Callie?" my mom asked.

"Yes, I'm with her right now actually," I said, as Callie smiled at me as her mother and father asked her the same questions.

"So she's alright too? Nothing happened to her?"

"She is good, she's an amazing man in a storm," I said proudly.

"We're so glad," Mom said.

"So you're done fighting?"

"Yes, Dad, we're done fighting," I said.

"Good," he said, "we're expecting the two of you for Memorial Day in a couple weeks."

"What?" I asked.

"The Torres' heard about the shooting and hadn't heard from Callie. They were worried, so they called us to ask if we had heard anything. We really hit it off, so we invited them for a Memorial Day cookout," my mother said.

"That was very optimistic of you all," I said.

"We're glad you're both alright kiddo," Dad said.

"Me too," I said.

"Good because you're making potato salad," Mom said before they said goodbye.

A minute later, Callie returned to the couch.

"Did you know that our families are getting together for Memorial Day?"

"We're bringing potato salad," I said.

We looked at each other and laughed. We knew that in the morning, the realness of today would hit us hard, but until then, we clung on to the happiness and comfort we shared all along.

...

Thanks again, I hope you enjoyed!


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